The Healer's Art

After half of a semester in the nursing program I am finally starting to comprehend what it is that I will be doing for the rest of my life and quite honestly, it scares me on various levels. It isn't that I am questioning that I should be in this field of work, I know that I love the complexities of the human body as well as the human spirit. I am scared of the responsibility that this work takes, the responsibility of doing things just right because it is someone's life that I hold in my hands. It scares me that missing a math problem no longer means a few points docked off my test score, but instead means the difference between healing someone and ending someone's life. Even though med errors are scarce, it only takes one mistake. Possibly what scares me the most is that I have chosen a career in which the people that I work with are quite possibly in the most vulnerable and even spiritual states that they may ever be in, and are experiencing life changing times. I can hardly explain the responsibility and pressure that I already feel in having to fill such a big role. Who am I to have the power to be an advocate, to heal one's body, and one's heart all at the same time. I am not trying to say that nurses always are able to heal on all levels, but that is ultimately our goal. Maybe what I am trying to say is that I have no problem experiencing empathy and sympathy, but I am not confident in my ability to transfer those feelings into actions. The way I see it, the savior is all of these things that I am striving to be. An advocate, a healer of the body, and a healer of the soul. Ultimately, he is the master teacher and I will strive to learn from his example. But since I cannot make anyone repent or even invite them to in a professional setting, it really comes down to me being a constant example of the savior even when I am not discussing deep gospel topics. I need to be an instrument of sorts to transfer his love to my patients through everyday actions...and this alone is a difficult responsibility that we all share. "Savior, may I learn to love thee, walk the path that thou hast shown, pause to help and lift another finding strength beyond my own. Savior may I learn to love thee--Lord, I would follow thee. I would be my brother's keeper, I would learn the healers art. To the wounded and the weary I would show a gentle heart.." That hymn has really taken on a newfound meaning to me in these last few months. I know that I have much more schooling to go and I will continue to learn and improve in my skills, but for now, I pray that I can have the spirit guide my conversation and technical work, that I may be not only an instrument for the patient to the doctor, but an instrument for the savior to the patient.